Facebook is easily the most interesting human experiment. It leaves me at times uplifted. It leaves me shocked. It leaves me dumbfounded. It leaves me pondering many aspects of myself and others and the way we all think and react to the events in our everyday lives.
That person you thought you knew so well can oftentimes be the person whose status updates confound you the most. In any given day I might have a status update from a person who declares his faith in God while his daughter fights her second round of cancer in a year, just beneath it I might see someone cursing the fact that they have a slightly bigger workload today (when our country sees 1 in 10 out of work, this is a tough one to swallow). There are complaints (a lot of these...some even my own), there is joy, there is silliness, there is crudeness and there is pride.
Pride.
Pride is the word that started turning my hamster wheels today. I was alone on my errands- driving that part of the canyon where the radio merely hisses and spits, vacillating between a Spanish station and talk radio. At this point in the drive I am alone with my thoughts and for some reason my thoughts were on facebook and pride.
I doubt a day goes by where I don't see a status update where someone is proud of their child. It generally surrounds an accomplishment in school or sports. Some days it's a dozen or so. I have been guilty of it on occasion myself. At some point in my drive something started resonating in my brain.
Are my parents proud of me? Are they as proud of me and my brother as they are proud of my sister, she being the college graduate with the master's degree and the two of us who never finished college? I consider all three of us success stories. My brother is a hard working man who worked his way to the top of his job, he is happily married. I never finished school but I met my goal which was always to be a happily content wife and mother. My sister is also blessed with a wonderful marriage and she happens to have a great career as well. Does one person's 'accomplishments' merit more pride than another?
The bible looks at pride in two different ways, the first being selfish pride. Proverbs 11:2,
When pride comes then comes dishonor,
But with the humble comes wisdom.
Often when I hear parents talk about the pride they have in their children it surrounds an accomplishment. They aced a test, they got into a top college, they hit a home run. These are great things and any parent would grasp that feeling of pride and want to share it with the world. But what would happen if we stopped focusing on the things that we and our children have accomplished and instead looked to their character. If we aim our pride on deeds over works what message are we sending to them now?
Your character shows what kind of person you are. By showing good character you make me proud.
I can't think of a better message to send to a child than, We are proud of the person you are not the things you have done. I want my kids to look to me for approval on their actions and not their accomplishments. This is an example of good biblical pride.
We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.
2 Corinthians 5:12
When one of my kids performs well in a play or at a swim meet or gets an award in scouts, I feel a little pride. It's not the same as the pride I feel when I see one of them 'do a good turn'. A few nights ago we attended a pack ceremony for AJ's cub scouts pack. I noticed he had made a new friend and I was delighted. He can be a bit of an underdog. Mike introduced me to the boys parents and while the mom talked to me about the first time the boys met I felt the slight sting of tears. She explained that AJ had immediately taken the new boy under his wing and befriended him right from the getgo. They had been worried that since they were new to the pack and he didn't know anyone he might have trouble fitting in. I felt pride that AJ had welcomed this new boy and made friends with him.
This may in fact have been the catalyst for this entire rambling of thoughts on pride. I am never more proud of my kids than when I see glimpses of their good character. Would this world be an even better place if our children learned that our pride in them surrounded moments such as this? It's my own personal challenge to show my children that no matter what they accomplish in life the things that make me proud lie deep inside them, in their character.
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